the nomness

I am so excited to see this film that I squee.  Audibly.  To the great distress of my cat, or sometimes the unfortunate person I am talking to on the phone.  This morning it was my aunt.

Why this film is applicable to this site goes without saying, ob……..(wait for it)…..viously.  THIS should be amazing visually (heh) and the story is actually a good one.  The casting directors are now on my Christmas card list, and I will think fondly of them in my evening prayers (or would if I still did that.  I may once this week just for Irene Lamb and Maureen Webb.  Thank you, ladies.)

I found a pic of Johnny's bum that I was considering putting here, but it made me feel dirty, like looking at someone I know. Weird, huh.

I think I’ve voiced my Johnny Depp stance before, but just in case I haven’t, or in case you’ve missed it, I LOVE the man.  I do not lust after him post Sweeney Todd Premiere.  Laymee and I attended the afterparty and he held the door for me as I was going out for a cigarette when I discovered, to my great dismay, that in heels, I am considerably taller than him.  He is SO fucking talented that I WANT to lust after him.  But height aside, I cannot.  I find him pretty.  In the way that I find one of my cousins pretty.  And that kind of eeks me.  So, Johnny, if you’re out there, let’s go for a pint.  Or a glass of wine.  It’s not you, it’s me.  I hope that we can be friends.  I think that you and I could have a very good, late night discussion about what we consider to be very important worldly things over a copious amount of alcohol.

Jude, you're lovely. And I don't even normally like blondes. Way to be hot.

Jude Law.  Hello, you.  I don’t know why, but I DO find myself attracted to you.  In a frantic last minute shopping trip some 4 or 5 years ago Christmas Eve or somewhere there abouts, I very nearly knocked you over while you were queuing in FAO Schwartz.  Sorry about that. I may have cursed at you.  You have children, I’m sure you understand.  Up to that point I really didn’t think much about you when I’d watch your films, but there was something about the way you saved the Steif frog/monkey/bear/whatever it was I was carrying from being trampled in the Christmas rush that just begged for me to fancy you, at least a little.  So I did.  And I do.

You have earned your place in The Hall of Nom, Heath. Cheers.

Heath Ledger, I’m not going to get sappy on you here, but damn, you were a fine bit of stuff.  And EXTRAORDINARILY talented.  I refuse to get maudlin, but hats off to you, babes.  Will go see whatever is released posthumously.  I am happy to throw my $12 into the kitty if only for you.

Dia duit ar maidin, Colin. How's about some coffee?

Ooooooooooh, Colin Farrell.  We’ve had a love/hate relationship haven’t we?  Cell Phone?  Or whatever that shit was?  ORLY?  Let’s not.  Gentle readers, let me give you a little insight on the Irish. We can be a nation of begrudgers.  Amongst ourselves, we will not acknowledge the successes of fellow countryman.  In Dublin, you could have half the cast of Fair City in the M&S on Grafton and the Dubs won’t bat an eyelash. (nor should they – I seriously saw that one chick…her name escapes me, but she’s a real smug bitch in interviews, anyway, but she was looking around waiting to be recognised.  My wouldbe MIL has seen the same.  Blech.)  Mention one of our own if you are NOT from Ireland, though, and boy, you have called the wrath of “what the fuck has your country REALLY contributed to the world of the arts ANYWAY” upon you so fast that you won’t even notice we’re going below the belt with attacks on your imperialistic histories and your arrogant attitudes without really having any true identities of your own – trust me, I’ve seen it happen.

Anyway, getting back on point, Colin, I’ve been very proud of you, of late.  You are blessed in the physical nom, that’s granted.  Dunno what it is, but I’ve always gone a little dreamy eyed at you.  Wouldn’t admit it, though, around all audiences, no sir.  I’m impressed with your more recent work and am hoping that you keep along this vein! Apparently, staying on the straight and narrow suits.  Also, should the rumours be true, congrats on your second bun in the oven? (Don’t mind me over here lusting over 2 time babydaddy…it’s what I do.  Men and babies kinda do it for me for some reason.  Blame my ovaries)