So. The premise of Ep 2 is a data loss incident/kerfuffle/media strategy within DoSAC, further underscoring the department’s complete ineptitude at being able to handle even the slightest bit of responsibility. If this weren’t enough, Nicola manages to break the story herself to the press following a Guardian meetup intended to introduce “the real Nicola.” Well, they met her alright. Upon finding out what she’s done Malcolm rages against Nicola and his own seatbelt almost equally, giving me some quite serious bondage brain fodder. And then……eh, fuckit, now I just wanna look at the pretteh.

Dude. It’s been a rough coupla months. And between Laymee giving me the “Umm, loser, FUCKITY POST” kicks in the ass and my cat making sweet cat love to my blanket covered feet (you know, biscuit style) on the couch I figured that it’s time to take pen to paper, or in this case desperately-in-need-of-a-manicure-fingernails to keyboard, and jot down some notes.

1) Kellan Lutz?

Why do you ever wear clothes? I just can't fathom one reason.

What this man has done to his body is art.  ART.  I applaud you, Mr. Lutz.  All underpantskind applauds you. I will forgive the fact that it looks like the waistband says “Twinkle.”  When you look like that you may twinkle all you like.

2) Alexander Skarsgard

I have never seen a person's left hand as being as superfluous as this man's.

This man, he’s lovely.  So very lovely.  I mean, I think I like him better with the shorter hair

I don't mind this being shot from below -and normally it irritates the shit outta me. I suppose it's the subject?

3) I’m getting sucked into Lost.  I mean, I’ve really held out.  It’s the last bloody season.  Sans cable, I’m working through Hulu, and am going through Season 1.  It’s not bad – I mean, it’s been hyped to shit, but I’ve gotta say, I look forward to watching them in the evenings.  Now, I wanna see some more conflict, maybe, but I’m sure we’re getting there… Apparently I have 101 episodes to work my way through.

Season 2 mayhaps?

So with episode 1 we have a cabinet reshuffle, the main point of which is to formally replace the previous DoSAC MP. Whatever, I give two shits about the politics, you know why I’m there. The maniacal charm of Malcolm Tucker is adjusted only slightly in the face of a female minister but it’s fun seeing him kinda flirty and then go STRAIGHT into bollock mode. There’s certainly no will they/won’t they thing going on but at least this new chick can hold her own with him and he definitely wasn’t expecting that. Not many other changes except for Glenn who seems somewhat redesigned and more well put together (and wholly invisible to me whenever Tucker’s in the building).

Also, since last we spoke I’ve been fangirling Capaldi’s entire body of work (and yes, BODY of work is appropriate). I sat through this one absolutely shit horror movie to get to the last six minutes which were outrageously well-acted on his part. The fact that his entire backside was on-screen shimmying into a pair of boxers has nothing whatsoever to do with my appreciation of those final minutes I’m sure. Nor the fact of his chest being roused from post-coital rest by the call of one of his charges crying, “Father Steve!” Little bit of Catholic naughtiness with the farm lady. No, I think it was actually the emotions flitting about his face while sitting at the kitchen table, trying to make sense of the previous night. Like, really. He may be my latest pretty obsessive but damn the man can also act.

(ok it might’ve been the shimmy)

In the m[e]antime (and yes, it does appear that moving south has broadened my scope for MASSIVELY LAME PUNS], The Thick Of It is back and not before time. The new series is officially being called Series 3 though I suppose that makes the two Specials the whole of Series 2? Whatever, it’s fucking brilliant, all of it. Everyone’s back so far except crossest-man-in-Scotland Jamie, and this will be quite upsetting to Effbit as he was her favorite. Really, there was no way she was getting anywhere near my Scot so she had to find her own. Fair enough. If I wasn’t already so enamored I’d probably be all over him as well but them’s the breaks pally. New minister is a lady who’s just as conventionally unemployable as all the previous ministers, so par for the course. Somehow it seems that Ollie has become even younger, and HotScot has become even hotter. Also, he used the phrase “lady bollocks” in Saturday’s ep and that’s just the greatest thing ever. I wish I actually lived somewhere in Great Britain so I could drop some of these lines in conversation without sounding like a complete asshole but oh well. A laymee can dream (and she usually dreams of this):

C’mon Effbit – I defy you to find fault with this man right here.

And I’m not alone. There’s a lovely section over at The Guardian featuring reviews and talkback for each episode (among other backstage insidery pieces) and I’m not the only one drooling over Malcolm Tucker. Ok, so I’m one of three, but still. I think I could take them. Actually, I should talk with some of them because I still can’t quite put my finger on what it is about him that rocks the boat, yet doesn’t tip it over. I know Effbit can wax rhapsodic all day long about her pretty manboy and we can go back and forth on Rickman all day long (btw, we *need* to fully explain the ARRF bit one of these days, yeah? i think some fans would appreciate), but when I send her pictures of Capaldi saying “oooh look at the pretteh” and she comes back saying he reminds her of her man’s mother….well, I’m at a loss. Perhaps more disturbingly this is not affecting my lust in any way shape or form, though god help me if I ever actually meet the man’s mother. A-W-K-waaarrrdd. I fear I’ll start swearing at her in my worst Scottish accent and pacing fiercely.

Also, it just occurred to me that I think I’ve referenced ‘other things to talk about’ quite a few times in earlier posts. I suppose it makes sense to actually scan those and then explain them. Trust me, there’s some fucked up shit in there, ARRF chief amongst them. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Btw, Aiming Low, sounded like a fucking blast and I wouldn’t be Laymee if I were actually in attendance with all the other cool kids. But I wasn’t. So I am. Laymee. Thank you. I still vote that you Effbit, JJ, & STY fucking kidnap Jordan for some fun time west of the river. Mayhaps the ‘Boke?

There, got that out of the way. I was actually expecting more fallout from last week’s murder-that-might-not-be-murder. I’m still not so sure about it all. Maybe it’s just that, knowing Cameron is leaving, I keep looking for the mechanism that propels her ass out of dodge. Chase not coming home at night? Lame. I mean, not lame lame like Laymee lame, but it has to be more than that.

POTW – eh. Cute kid, believably crazy rich dad (or rich crazy?). Not sure what they’re gonna be doing with Thirteen and I kinda don’t care because we all know she comes back. She has to, right? Unless she takes her trapezoidal head to Malaysia for keepsies and I’m not betting the farm on that one. And where the hell is Taub? Where in the goddamn hell is Taub who is now my favorite of the new flock and has gone away like a bastard don’tyaknow? Again, I’m choosing to stay unspoiled so maybe I’m the only one who doesn’t know he’s gone for good, but DAMN I hope he’s not gone for good.

What else, what else…I like Cuddy’s longer hair and the bizarre “checking to see how things are” bit that seemed to exist solely for her to flash the girls all up in House’s face. Which I have zero problem with. I love love love the eyedip, and he gives good eyedip.

This ep seemed very much a standalone, edging back into the normal swing of things ep, not too entirely memorable an ep. And that’s ok. We need journeyman eps to make the special ones stand out even stronger. And speaking of, I was earmuffing it during the promo for next week and when checking to see if it was over, I saw Foreman react like he’d seen a brain jump out of someone’s head and start doing calisthenics. Next week will be LANDMARK because Effbit will BE in Texas to watch this nonsense live with me, so if there’s hopping brains we will be SO ready for them.

Also, and I swear I’m only looking at the man, but sometimes it’s best not to stare directly at teh pretteh. You can see more that way. And what do I see now but DAMN dude, boxers much?

I can’t quite decide which of the blonde wonder twins grew a relatively bigger pair last night but my guess is they won’t be battling about it for long.

Last night’s anticipatory TV schedule felt so much like junior high that I was tempted to look forward to Kate & Allie. Starting with House, followed by Lie To Me (and I had just enough presence of mind to avoid next week’s teaser. go me), then a brief field trip for sustenance, back in time for Letterman and Steve Martin (who rocked the chair with his hot socks and tortoiseshells), and ending the evening with Craig Ferguson. Oh. My. God. A friend told me she was crushing on him a year or so ago but I thought nothing of it. Oh. My. God. She should’ve elaborated. I truly don’t think this is feeding off my #1 hotscot (although they did know each other in Glasgow) (hee, I’d die for pics). Ferguson minces around all over the place and somehow it’s not annoying. How is this possible? Not only is it not annoying, it’s CHARMING and fucking ADORABLE. Incredible. And he’s on every weeknight!? There go my early mornings.

C’mon, I couldn’t resist. The fact that I was battling both House & Wilson in order to make jokes about balls had me giggling for way longer than was entirely necessary. Then I’d catch glimpse of the steel grey and lose my train of thought once more. I don’t care how OOC this neuHaus is, I love it. He’s obviously still gonna be an ass (thank god) but now he’s an ass trying to change for the better, and getting to see him in these over-the-top ridiculous situations is perhaps our little present for sticking with him as long as we have. I’m also dying to get some syringes and try the egg trick. I love everything about the egg trick. Except the apron.

But really…can we get him back into the hospital now? The gnocchi scene was cute and all but I don’t wanna watch flirty flirts over baked potatoes. Beyond that, I guess the dick mantle has been officially passed to Foreman (but he seriously needs to keep away from House’s balls), thank god Cuddy ditched those fugly bangs, I LOVE nerds but this POTW made me want to murder, and Taub is the greatest.