I am back. I didn’t post while away, I’m terribly sorry. For this reason, please allow me to rant.

I hate MOTHERFUCKING AT&T.

Here’s the situation. I was an AT&T customer for years (back when it was Cingular, then AT&T – it may or may not have been AT&T first, but sure, I can’t remember…). Their customer service was horrid. I mean EVERY MONTH for the last year of my contract I had a problem with the bill. Random numbers (to and from Brazil?! My Portuguese is nonexistent), charges, and just very abrasive CS reps. Awful. So finally, I switched to Tmobile. Choosing them was primarily a decision based on their international rates, both while in the US and while abroad. You see, this may not have been clear earlier, but I do a fair bit of traveling.

All was well and good for several years. Then the iPhone was introduced. And motherfucking AT&T holds the monopoly on their service. Well, I held out. For 2 years. And this year, as my 2nd Blackberry died, I figured, why the hell not.

Well, I’ll tell you why the hell not. They charge OUT THE ASS for Data Roaming. Seriously. It was fecking INSANE what they wanted to charge me. 20G for 29.99? Have you ANY IDEA the amount of EMAILS alone that I receive on this bloody thing?

Not to mention that everyone in Dublin seems to be stingy with their Wifi (what, I can’t steal service from you? AW, C’MOOOOON!!!!). So, my work was lagging, my blogging was nonexistent, and I believe that Laymee and I nearly had to be committed due to separation anxiety.

I should also make clear that on a personal note, I cannot seem to focus at ALL lately.  Everything I can do to keep on top of work!!

But here we go. A little of Ireland for you.

First pint on Irish soil for this trip. It's a tradition, always in the Dublin airport. As this is not just a tradition for yours truly, I honestly believe the airport has one of the best pints in Dublin; they go though the stuff like mad. Frequently poured = Fresh Guinness.

So back to the matter at hand.  Have any of you seen this chef d’oeuvre?

Yes, I can give you a moment.  Sweet baby Jesus, I certainly needed one.

There is some business we have to discuss. Jordan, I am woman enough to admit that I have a nearly less than platonic hard on for you.  Laymee has professed her “admiration” for yourgoodself, and we applaud you.  In offering, allow me to present this:

This, I'm sure, has some significance to you, Jordan, and so, enjoy.

Which brings us to why we fancy clever-types such as our blogcrush over there.  Wit.  Ladies, if a fella can make me laugh, he already has a foot in the door.  Which leads us to the obvious progression that almost anything else he wishes can follow.

Now do you see what I did there? I was both being funny and also deadly serious (and yes I am still ROLLING with this show). Personal tendencies aside, boys interested in other boys is kind of ok in my book. As long as one of them isn’t my boy then we’re all fine. Although….right, nevermind, staying focused. RIGHT.

Effbit was at the gym last week because she occasionally has bouts of spastic mental behavior (I mean, jesus, what other reason can there be?), and I don’t want to be rude and point & laugh at the Irish trying to run (in training for the bar marathon perhaps), but sometimes it needs to be done. When I’m not in town I can typically get this business taken care of via text, and I quite often take advantage of this mobile slag device to stay up to speed. Last week I was thrown for a wee loop when Effbit texted a song and video premise. DURING GYM TIME. Honestly, I can barely breathe when I’m running let alone text, but our Effbit’s got spirit (how about you?). She wrote, and I quote, “GODDAMN IT. DRAMARAMA ANYTHING HOUSE AND WILSON.” My first thought was to immediately kick in with the “seriously, what’s with the yelling, I can hear you fine from here ya british piece of crap.” Then I realized I really am all about the Brits lately and I’d only be harming any future opportunities I may have to bone one. I decided to respond with the far more appropriate, “HOLY SHIT. This might happen today. I’m starting in 1hr.” We’re both rather loquacious texty bitches, what.

It takes a while to prep video when you are easily sidetracked looking at fucking beautiful men making goo goo eyes at one another but we persevered and now, in honor of the Season 5 release of House on DVD, we offer our third video. It’s way better than the others, and I still really REALLY like that Boss Snape one. Like, really. It makes me laugh, and I don’t care how corny it is to still laugh at your own work. This video doesn’t make me laugh; instead, it makes me think naughty things about Hugh Laurie. But then again, what doesn’t… To be fair, I could make a case for House pulling goo goo eyes with any number of people of both genders, and that’s perfectly fine by me.

If you click, you can view in what I’ve found to be quite a lovely HD or even fullscreen.

Effbit, you called?

Laymee and I went to a very early dinner, and then imbibed (as we are want to do) on beer.  And wine.  Then, an hour before the screening, we meandered over to the cinema and planted our arses in the frontish (no other seats.)  I think I need a deep tissue massage today – old lady-types need at least the midsection of the theatre.  So today I am still mentally replaying scenes. I enjoyed the film, but, as Laymee and I discussed post-screening, I can see it being difficult to follow for someone who hadn’t read the books. And yes, we watched the other 5.  It’s amazing how different they are, and how, IMHO, Hermione pisses me off.  Even in this one.  I can’t even put my finger on it. Personally I think they should have worked on build-up to key points in the book. Like, say, maybe, the discovery of the HBP – the audience wasn’t even led to give a shit about who it was. Just that dude had some old book. And then at the end, when Snape announces “yeah, like, those spells? Yeah. That’s mine. Cuz I’m the Half Blood Prince. Word (quite literally ‘to your mother’).” And Ginny? We ALWAYS knew she got around. She’s my kinda girl. And yeah, hate me if you need to, but I don’t think she ages well! And’s she’s what, 18? This doesn’t bode well….All that being said, I walked away, still a little squee, and still feeling SO MUCH BETTER about Number 6 than I was after Number 5. Cuz Order of the Phoenix was not satisfying AT ALL  And while I can ALWAYS USE more Snape, i felt that he had considerably more face/voice time than he has in previous films…about time, really.

And segway to our cross-over

I think, though, that I have to revisit my other tween obsession.  Twilight has been sorely neglected, I feel.  I’ve been walking around daydreaming about some of this all day.  So it only stands to reason that I post it to share with you ladies.  Also, while I’m not one to beg for comments, reviews, or even validation – trust me, I’m retarded enough that I would prattle on to a mirror and feel just fine about it – we haven’t had one comment since Jenny Jerkface from www.twitarded.com on our very first post – so I’m a little nervous if others are actually ABLE to! (We see you, we know you’re reading!)

Also, the last 4 are particularly brilliant. This chick knows how to edit.

THANK GOD there were musicians/directors/producers who had the presence of mind to include the nomness in their artistic expression. Those girls, those Alicia Silverstones, Liv Tylers, Christina Riccis….they are lovely, they are hot, but they are decidedly NOT the nomness.

Kate Bush – Experiment IV

Laymee mentioned earlier today that Hugh Laurie gave a great performance in “Walking on Broken Glass”.  But does anyone remember his mad scientist fella in Kate Bush’s “Experiment IV”?  Of course not, CUZ HE DIES.  And yeah, the song isn’t quite my cup o’tea either.  Sorry, Kate, this one just doesn’t do it for me.

I’m not gonna lie to you, ladies, I am not the biggest Lady Gaga fan.  Her music doesn’t do much for me. It’s sort of “meh” (any of you who read Brooklyn Vegan should nod at this reference).  I appreciate effort.  But REALLY.  Rein it in a little, woman.  What are you going to have to throw out there when you’re in your 50s and facing Madonna’s mostly naked and terrifyingly veined conundrum? This being said. HELLO ALEXANDER SKARSGARD. You die too in this video, but there is plenty of alive and smooching for you to enjoy. And we do enjoy it.

WHO can deny Walken? I mean, I don’t know, it’s just Walken. Maybe not conventionally nomable, maybe you would just want a beer with the guy, but there is SOMETHING about him, and he’s got the moves in this vid. What’s not to love.

Robert Carlisle. You nom-ed him in “The Full Monty”. You may have nom-ed him in “Angela’s Ashes” (I will explain later why i HATE that book, probably…..I do not endorse anything Frank McCourt does and most of the county HATES him as well). Did you nom him in “Plunkett and Macleane”? I did. And then, of course, there was “28 Weeks Later”.

And Finally….

OF COURSE I’m giving this post my own brand of Happy Ending. He DANCES. BEAUTIFUL limbs. And if you squint, the chick COULD be me, like, 10 yrs ago, considerably shorter…..it’s amazing how alike dark brunettes with pasty white skin can look. Such a good video. Oh. My.

In related news.

The Harry Potter Half Blood Prince Premiere will be in NYC, and I won’t be there. I have an uncanny ability to blag my way into where I want to be. Combine this with an unwillingness to believe that I’m incapable of anything (arrogance and pigheadedness are cruel masters of my dignity) I have had several “near” run-ins with Alan Rickman. Been to several premieres where we COULD have met. I swear to all that is holy that at the Bottle Shock premiere we met eyes and had a MOMENT when he was walking down the aisle at the beginning of the film. I was very close the other day when, come to find out, a friend’s friend is being flown in to do his makeup for the do. Naturally I offered any and all services. I would hold the brushes. I would wash the brushes. I would bloody well buy new brushes for each, ahem, stroke so that there would not be double dipping. Heh. Anyway. No, it appears it is not meant to be. Pity. Though honestly, it’s probably for the best – who knows what we would expose those innocent, wide-eyed attendees of this particular premiere to when all sense finally gives way to passion.

The good folks at Sony BMG won’t allow embedding of the video but I’m here to provide visual proof of the greatest half second of music video footage I’ve seen grace my screen in a good many years, to be followed by video linkage. If you make it that far. Gahh. To set the scene, it would appear Ms. Lennox has had one too many and husband Mr. Laurie is intimating as much across the party.

And then of course, the video itself (also featuring Malkovich!). The above is found around 3:13 and is even better in motion. Enjoy, nommers.