Shaddup it could happen.

In the meantime, enjoy the pretty.

*ALSO* I had to add this – Thanks, Megi

Dude. It’s been a rough coupla months. And between Laymee giving me the “Umm, loser, FUCKITY POST” kicks in the ass and my cat making sweet cat love to my blanket covered feet (you know, biscuit style) on the couch I figured that it’s time to take pen to paper, or in this case desperately-in-need-of-a-manicure-fingernails to keyboard, and jot down some notes.

1) Kellan Lutz?

Why do you ever wear clothes? I just can't fathom one reason.

What this man has done to his body is art.  ART.  I applaud you, Mr. Lutz.  All underpantskind applauds you. I will forgive the fact that it looks like the waistband says “Twinkle.”  When you look like that you may twinkle all you like.

2) Alexander Skarsgard

I have never seen a person's left hand as being as superfluous as this man's.

This man, he’s lovely.  So very lovely.  I mean, I think I like him better with the shorter hair

I don't mind this being shot from below -and normally it irritates the shit outta me. I suppose it's the subject?

3) I’m getting sucked into Lost.  I mean, I’ve really held out.  It’s the last bloody season.  Sans cable, I’m working through Hulu, and am going through Season 1.  It’s not bad – I mean, it’s been hyped to shit, but I’ve gotta say, I look forward to watching them in the evenings.  Now, I wanna see some more conflict, maybe, but I’m sure we’re getting there… Apparently I have 101 episodes to work my way through.

Season 2 mayhaps?

So with episode 1 we have a cabinet reshuffle, the main point of which is to formally replace the previous DoSAC MP. Whatever, I give two shits about the politics, you know why I’m there. The maniacal charm of Malcolm Tucker is adjusted only slightly in the face of a female minister but it’s fun seeing him kinda flirty and then go STRAIGHT into bollock mode. There’s certainly no will they/won’t they thing going on but at least this new chick can hold her own with him and he definitely wasn’t expecting that. Not many other changes except for Glenn who seems somewhat redesigned and more well put together (and wholly invisible to me whenever Tucker’s in the building).

Also, since last we spoke I’ve been fangirling Capaldi’s entire body of work (and yes, BODY of work is appropriate). I sat through this one absolutely shit horror movie to get to the last six minutes which were outrageously well-acted on his part. The fact that his entire backside was on-screen shimmying into a pair of boxers has nothing whatsoever to do with my appreciation of those final minutes I’m sure. Nor the fact of his chest being roused from post-coital rest by the call of one of his charges crying, “Father Steve!” Little bit of Catholic naughtiness with the farm lady. No, I think it was actually the emotions flitting about his face while sitting at the kitchen table, trying to make sense of the previous night. Like, really. He may be my latest pretty obsessive but damn the man can also act.

(ok it might’ve been the shimmy)

I’m half hoping my iPhone app is slow to load all previous posts, but I’m more than half hoping that I have a more valid excuse to rewatch this past season than…umm…oh, who the fuck are we kidding, I’ll watch Tucker with no provocation or excuse necessary. I crossed the techiefangirl line months ago when I ripped the audio from every ep to listen to in the car. The man is teh sex even when I can’t see him.

And motherFUCK if I wasn’t actually predicting this would happen not three months ago, and when it finally does like two weeks ago I remain completely oblivious. I was probably even home doing something useless like sleeping or some bullshit. Goddammit. But here it is and they’re both beautiful.

And yeah, I know, long time no FUCK YOU we’ve been busy, alright!? Tonight airs the first of the two-part finale of The Thick Of It and I’m already on the edge of my seat (partially because I’m half out the door to work, but the image remains and quite the powerful one it is at that). Not to mention a few episodes of House to catch up on? I’ve been neglecting my nom duties and for that I apologize. But only half-assed, because quite frankly I’ve far too many hot men to catch up on. And when I say catch up on, well…

I am seriously at a loss as to what to write. I have my hidden obsession that I nearly was outed very publicly when Channel 4 cameras came up and started filming. In a perfectly timed, unchoreographed move, myself and the girls from Twitarded and TwiCrack Addict ducked down to hide our faces in a huddle as the cameras swung towards us. We were an impenetrable bubble of hidden blogger. Beautiful to behold, but fiercely deadly in our snark. They couldn’t even capture our very own Black, Urban Bella, now with more militant angst in the form of @TJBarber – who, incidentally, was thoughtful enough to bring cupcakes and door hangings for us lot! [Ed. um, i totally want a door hanging. as if my neighbors needed another reason to leave me the fuck alone]

I got a bookmark for being in the queue, and Twilight Moms did a great job organising the shindig. There were raffles of LOADS of stuff (none of which I won because I never win anything, trufax) and, just before the screening, they held the auction for Alex’s Lemonade Stand, which Jenny and Snarky from Twitarded raised a shit-ton of money to win. Can you guess who made an appearance? Can ye?

And they auctioned not only the arranged dinner with Peter, but threw in Kellan for a second auction [Kellan's pants optional]. So there we were, three rows back (thanks to the ninja seat-finding skills of sistersnarky and our new twifriends) making eye contact and interacting with Kellan and Peter. Like. Directly. [Ed. like, FIRST NAME directly] [also, i may have to do this with all of effbit's posts. too much fun]

The ladies didn’t win, but we ask you to trend #twitardedlunch on Twitter and @peterfacinelli in the hopes that maybe jennyjerkface and snarkierthanyou get something for their philanthropic efforts. Oh, and the film? I’m posting about it later. Sending this from my iPhone to laymee so that she can post as I still do not have bloody Internet connection in this new apt. FML. Sent from my iPhone

[yes, totally doing this from now on. i don't care if she never gets back online] [except that's a lie]

Btw, the word ‘nibblies’ makes me want to cut something.

This message has been brought to you by the letter F and a smooth vodka cran with an aerated balsamic chaser. Holler?