Now do you see what I did there? I was both being funny and also deadly serious (and yes I am still ROLLING with this show). Personal tendencies aside, boys interested in other boys is kind of ok in my book. As long as one of them isn’t my boy then we’re all fine. Although….right, nevermind, staying focused. RIGHT.

Effbit was at the gym last week because she occasionally has bouts of spastic mental behavior (I mean, jesus, what other reason can there be?), and I don’t want to be rude and point & laugh at the Irish trying to run (in training for the bar marathon perhaps), but sometimes it needs to be done. When I’m not in town I can typically get this business taken care of via text, and I quite often take advantage of this mobile slag device to stay up to speed. Last week I was thrown for a wee loop when Effbit texted a song and video premise. DURING GYM TIME. Honestly, I can barely breathe when I’m running let alone text, but our Effbit’s got spirit (how about you?). She wrote, and I quote, “GODDAMN IT. DRAMARAMA ANYTHING HOUSE AND WILSON.” My first thought was to immediately kick in with the “seriously, what’s with the yelling, I can hear you fine from here ya british piece of crap.” Then I realized I really am all about the Brits lately and I’d only be harming any future opportunities I may have to bone one. I decided to respond with the far more appropriate, “HOLY SHIT. This might happen today. I’m starting in 1hr.” We’re both rather loquacious texty bitches, what.

It takes a while to prep video when you are easily sidetracked looking at fucking beautiful men making goo goo eyes at one another but we persevered and now, in honor of the Season 5 release of House on DVD, we offer our third video. It’s way better than the others, and I still really REALLY like that Boss Snape one. Like, really. It makes me laugh, and I don’t care how corny it is to still laugh at your own work. This video doesn’t make me laugh; instead, it makes me think naughty things about Hugh Laurie. But then again, what doesn’t… To be fair, I could make a case for House pulling goo goo eyes with any number of people of both genders, and that’s perfectly fine by me.

5 minutes into the second episode of Season 4, forced onto me by an old young friend who (I believe) has the hots for Chase, I was done.  I wanted to stop watching so that I could get all caught up and understand exactly who everyone was and what all was going on.  WHO in the HELL was this dude and why had he not been forced upon me earlier?  Or since.  Repeatedly. Perhaps involving a wall.  What.

I then proceeded to seek out everything Hugh Laurie had ever produced.  Thank god for Netflix because I rocked through some serious British comedy series, classics that I’d always intended to watch but had never gotten around to, Blackadder chief amongst them.  Jeeves & Wooster was hands down my favorite, and is next in line to be purchased.  It took a half minute to acclimate to the English accent and since I wasn’t watching House regularly yet, I became all swoony for Mr. Laurie.  I’d been swoony for Mr. Fry’s words for years and years so he was a lovely addition and cemented my decision to go nuts for another tall one.

Having viewed/read/heard damn near everything the man has produced, I have to say – my deep and abiding lust begins and ends with House.  That character does many more things to my brain than Mr. Laurie by himself.  And this is as it should be.  I’m not fond of lusting after husbands.  I’ve done it, don’t get me wrong, but I’m not too terribly content with it.  House, on the other hand, and we’ll just leave the whole fictional element out of it for now, is totally up for grabs.  I’ve never had a thing for a specific eye color but godDAMN the gaze he can pull from those blues.  The confidence, the ego, the clavicles, the ability to flirt with anything on legs (and occasionally not).  The tortured genius thing to an extent, but really it’s everything else.  I ship House with Cuddy, I ship him with Wilson, I ship him with a career seaman and anyone else who might actually give him some, and will let me watch comfortably in slo-mo from my couch.  If this show had been on when I was 12, I would have studied medicine.  And the sad thing is, even now I still would.

So, yeah.  Last night’s episodes.  I read the forums but avoid spoilers like lupus.  I knew the basics of the Season 4 ending but not a lot of the specifics.  This has worked well because last night blew me away. I know the same amount about Season 5′s ending* but will have to wait til the DVD release in August, so now I’m back to rewatching from the beginning.  This was my first go through the entire series and I didn’t want it to be up to date.  I had to check with Effbit last night, to see if I should finish off Season 4 or start over from the beginning to lesson the pain of having to wait for S5.  Now I can stroll through the pretty all over again.

*and this will be the killer because, if i were prone to vidding (and i think i might have to do a couple of them to get it out of my system), i KNOW there’s good stuff a-comin’.  gaaahhhhh….

Aside – truly, you must forgive the sports metaphors; the combination of moving to a sports-heavy town and signing up for a family-requested cable package [heh] has me experiencing what can only be considered a very brief but passionate interest in professional athletes and their trades. However, rest assured they are far too pretty on a far too regular basis to be honestly nommable, as Mr. Federer’s legs and pecs will testify.
/Aside

……distracted….where was I? Ah yes, the pieces and bits, the third handful’s offering of 2000 parts, the parts you keep busy with while the other parts are keeping busy. I’m talkin’ collarbones, I’m talkin’ those upper rib muscles, the triceps as it connects to the elbow (can’t wait for football season) (what?), the gumdrop earlobes, and #1 fanfic favorite por vida, the sternocleidomastoid. I’m not talking about House’s eyes, although rest assured I WILL be talking IN LENGTH about Mr. Laurie’s eyes (aaand now i need a minute). It’s not his eyes; it’s what he can do with his eyebrows that make me think stupid. It’s the shape of Mr. Rickman’s mouth AND the fact that it’s rarely closed. It’s Mr. Macy’s infuriatingly perfect diction and Mr. Martin’s jawline.

I had the thought to photoshop a frankenstein dreamboat made of various perfect parts but knew that would turn into a Saul Bass one-sheet of epic disaster likely reaching Transformerian proportions. Also, the diction thing kinda threw me. Going against everything Michael Bay was ever exposed to, in lieu of showing you examples of the pretty I quite hope to think you’ll sit quietly and dream of them, perhaps even better my list with one of your own. What else are holidays for…friends & family? Fuck ‘em, let them find their own list. Let your imagination wander, dear reader.

Should you find yourself in need of further inspiration, or perhaps a most serious buzzkill (I find the two often go hand in hand, and often with liquor), check Glengarry Glen Ross for an early bar scene between Pacino and Pryce in which Ricky Roma extolls the virtues of remembering the details. And then watch what his eyes do as he’s remembering what her eyes did.