Honestly, big auld back the fuck up to anyone who is going to bitch about Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland.  I am super sickeningly excited for this film for several reasons.  Let’s look at them here.

The one that really should go without saying is the Rickman.  I don’t care that he’s not going to have legs or that he will be CG’ed so that only his face will be there.  It WILL be his voice, and I WILL audibly squee because the caterpillar was always my favourite character.  Cut to Effbit’s 18th year.  Getting high in good friend’s room while painting a MASSIVE, will we say 8′ x 12′?, caterpillar and Alice on her bedroom wall.  Her parents were so much cooler than mine, obviously.  It was always my telephone doodle – to draw some incarnation of that scene – I did it in the styles of some of the greats – Van Gogh, Seurat, Gauguin…. I wrote a thesis on Lewis Carroll and his writings.  His collective works is the cornerstone for my “big girl books” – those gold-leafed, leather-bound ones.  So yes.  There is that as well – as a decidedly influential story that carried me from toddlerdom to my just post-adolescent life.  I still read it every so often, I’m not gonna lie to you.

Also, there is Helena Bonham Carter, on whom I have a most definite girl-crush.  EVERYTHING she’s ever done makes me want to BE her.  Silly.

I have a crush on Tim Burton.  He may not be an oil painting, ladies, but the man has a vision, and like it or lump it, it’s HIS and is practically trademarked.  Brilliance, girls, is sexy and a super turn on for me.

And Johnny.  Oh, Johnny.  You were a crush since Edward Scissorhands (I know.  My FIRST crush was Boy George, though.  Took multiple people to explain to me that he actually LIKED boys – I just couldn’t be convinced).  When I ran into you, very near literally, in real life, it turned out you were much more wee than I initially suspected.  Which was soul-crushing.  You were a MAN to me.  How could my measly 5’9″ stature (6’1″ in the shoes I was wearing) dwarf YOU, Johnny?  Sigh.  More to the point though, I love your work when you are on a project with Tim, dear Johnny, and am all butterflies in the tummy in anticipation.

Twinkle, twinkle, little bat, / How I wonder what you're at / Up above the world so high / Like a tea tray in the sky...

The rest of the cast – Michael Sheen (eeee!), Stephen Fry (hip hip!), Timothy Spall (I just want a pint with him!)….Christopher Lee, Crispin Glover…It’s very nearly too much.  And the cinematography looks amazing.  And the COSTUMES!  Good Christ.  The film, honestly, looks like someone just took everything that could be favouritest in my brain and said “Oi, Burton.  C’mere te me.  Do this here now”.  And he did.

But then, shall I never get any older than I am now? That'll be a comfort, one way -- never to be an old woman -- but then -- always to have lessons to learn!

So that is my little post for right now.  Will definitely be talking about this more in the future, as tomorrow is Comic Con, and for the first time I am feeling pangs of “what if I were there”.

And you've picked up a bit of an attitude, still curious and willing to learn, I hope.